What I love

I had a thought today. Do I really love what I'm doing? Do I really love eating? Do I really love playing the guitar? Do I really love parkour? Do I love what I do.
My point is, if I say I love the guitar, why don't I play it for more than 10minutes a day. I used to play up to 5hours. Or if I love parkour so much, why can't I commit myself fully to train. If I love writing so much, why can't I spend everyday thinking of what to write. You know what my problem is? I cannot, absolutely cannot decipher myself. I cannot separate the things that I really love to do, with things that I do to fit in. Now I'm not beating myself up. I know that tons of people do things exactly the same way I do.
It's a realisation. And its one that's gonna help me place my priorities. We had a discussion about passion on Monday at cell. What exactly is passion. And I was thinking, if I am not willing to give up my everything and anything and sacrifice all I have, it just ain't passion. It's true.
Anything and everything that we do, we have choices. If you are passionate about a subject, you'd rather spend 6 months mugging for it than spend a good two hours on accounting(for math haters). And that's the point see... ? I don't think I have the passion for parkour, or singing. I love doing those things, it's true. But it isn't a passion. I've been playing the guitar for 8years now. I love the instrument. I love the way people think I'm cool cuz I'm a girl and I play the guitar. But hey, there are tons others who play the guitar better, and many are girls. So who am I? I am the girl that has been giving my utmost best, to prove to people that I can do it. It's the guitar my passion? Maybe originally for the first 2 years and maybe when I first started poly. Cuz at the time, maybe that was it. I could cry for hours over a song with my guitar and 4 clear chords. G. C. D. Em. Or whatever in between. Now, I pick it up and play the same sequence for less than 5 minutes. D. Dmaj. A. G. Or whatever. Is that passion? I guess not. Someone once said, a good guitarists spends 2, maybe 3 hrs practicing eveyday. But a master guitarist spends at least 8 hours a day playing his guitar. And I thought guess what, I'm not even a tenth of that good guitarist. So where is my passion really? Video making? Photography? Cooking? Baking? Maybe making jokes that many define as corny or lame. Honestly? I don't know what my passion is. But besides Christ and willing to live my life all for Him, I think the only true thing I have and ever will define as my passion, is travelling. And I'm not just referring to taking a plane somewhere far, or going somewhere that requires a passport. Even my trip on the train every morning; I love it. Strange huh. I guess it is.

I guess it is... For now.

Logging off from my iPhone

Naomo